By: Mia L. Hazlett
My Darling Daughter,
Aww babygirl, you’ve suffered your first broken heart. I pray to God above, that it is your last. Because I was once your age, I knew Lost One would come one day. From the first time he spoke to me, I knew he wasn’t right for you. You see, I knew if he spoke to me that way, than he spoke to you that way. Let me just share some wisdom with you, you may call it a lecture, but either way, listen.
1. You must have expectations of everyone you meet, not just boys, but everyone. I will keep this in the context of Lost One. You are a beautiful young woman with a wonderful open heart and that’s what I love about you. When I call you, whether on the phone or from the other room; I use my crazy pet names for you or your name. But saying “hey”, “yo”, and the fact I heard you once answer to ,”nice ass”, made me want to hurt that little boy, but I couldn’t blame him. I had to blame you. You want to answer to “nice ass” that’s what you’ll be known for. Not your beautiful heart, intelligence, or that smile of yours. Nope. None of that. Just your nice ass. You’re better than that.
2. You would spend so much time prepping yourself for this boy. Not a hair was out of place and Lord knows this outfit and that and back to this, just to end up wearing something totally different. I get it honey. I really do. The problem I have is, you never required him to put in the same effort into his appearance. You were someone he could take anywhere. He was someone you could take to… a couch…preferably at his house, but I allowed it to be ours because you were home. Always require reciprocation in any relationship you are in, even down to someone’s attire.
3. Now my love, you know how I feel about earning your money. You’ve had chores, babysitting, retail, and your jewelry business. I’ve always been proud that you not only earn your money, but you save your money. Now here comes this boy who finally is able to take you out on a date, and you pay for everything? Absolutely not! No my love. I know you weren’t happy that I made him come to dinner with me and your sister prior to taking you out on a date, but I’m not going to set my rules aside, because you have not yet learned to set your expectations. I get the way of the world now, everyone is equal, but you can’t be so giving with what you’ve worked so hard to earn.
4. You told me he lives with his mother and sisters. That’s lovely. He’s never asked you over to his home. You’ve never met these people. For me, that’s unacceptable. He should be so proud to have a young lady like you, that he should want nothing more than for his family to meet you. You are nobody’s secret.
5. Finally, my angel, I knew everything that was going on. I knew about the girl before you and your sister. I saw him with her before your sister did. I told him he needed to tell you before I did. So, I guess I’ll be honest with you now that he is out of the picture, yes I did maybe…possibly threaten to run him over with my car. I knew you wouldn’t believe me over him. Sorry. Just know that when you are unaware, sometimes there are angels or your mother, fighting your battles for you. That’s why I had to let your sister tell you. You wouldn’t of believed me.
I’m sorry he hurt you honey. It breaks my heart to see you cry. If there is anything I want you take from this experience, look back on this relationship and figure out what you DIDN’T like about it. To save yourself future heartbreak, anyone who exhibits these characteristics, leave them alone. Don’t lower your expectations for the simple things. If someone can’t pull up their pants to meet your mother, he’s not worth your time. If saying your name or just a simple sweet pet name is beyond his comprehension, he’s not worth your tears. If meeting his family isn’t his priority, you’re too good for him, not them for you. And if he feels it’s okay to cheat and lie to you, your mother just may threaten to run him over with her car. Know this my love, you will always have me and your sister. I love you – Mommy.