They’re Watching

Mia L. Hazlett


So the storm is over, my marriage that is.  We went to court last week and brought almost two decades to an end in less than 10 minutes.  I don’t write that with ease.  It was absolutely heartbreaking.

But I believe in getting on a ride and getting off.  I know it’s easy to organize a pity party.  You invite a whole bunch of people and get caught up in the emotions of the moment.  The key word is “moment.” It’s not your life.  It’s a moment in your life.  You are going to have some highs and lows.  This was one of my lows.  But it happened on a Monday, and I told myself I was going to get every emotion about the moment over by Saturday.  Technically Sunday would be a full week, but OCD doesn’t allow me to start things on a Monday.  Sorry.  I had a six day pity party and then shut it the hell down.

The thing is, I had to be an example to my daughters.  What example was I going to set for them beyond this divorce?  I woke that Sunday morning with the determination to write down every one of my wildest dreams and my plan for each.  I spent hours covering my board with my dreams and plans.  I named it 2016 Boss Moves.

This wasn’t even for them, it was for me.  It was my first move made on the other side of divorce.  But as I stood and wrote down some of my projects, I glanced over my shoulder and noticed my youngest reading everything I wrote. She questioned some of my goals.  She asked what this meant and what that meant.

I answered her questions and she seemed content when she went to watch TV.  I went back to my dreaming. One of my goals takes place at 9 PM every night. At 9:03 as I situated myself at my desk, she came to me and said, “I thought you were supposed to start at 9.”  In my head I’m thinking, “what the…”, but it hit me, she was taking my dream board seriously.  Apparently, more serious than I was. Even my oldest helped me cross off my completed tasks.

It’s been almost a week and I’ve tackled my dreams relentlessly.  They’re visual commitments that my children don’t have to see me achieve, but they do have to see me attempt accomplishing them.  My completed tasks are proof I’m achieving some of them.  Others will take time, patience, or practice, but being checked about my tardiness and watching my oldest cross off tasks were reminders that THEY’RE WATCHING.

© 2016 Mia L. Hazlett

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