BITCH!

By: Mia L. Hazlett
4/29/14

I’ve heard over and over, you have choices. It’s true. I’ve heard over and over, there are consequences to your choices. It’s true. And the other day I heard, “there are no rewards.”I hung up from that conversation and began to cry because I realized, there are no rewards for some of our choices.

I cried because of the conversation I had just shared with my best friend, with a money burn-out week behind me. I had put my all into continuing Easter tradition. I did take my first day off since I could remember. But what’s a day off when you run errands and do laundry? I got caught up on work for one day and then took the next off, my daughter’s birthday.

By the time Thursday came around, I needed help. My daughters were on vacation and I needed to bring them to work with me and have them picked up and dropped off at my cousin’s house. Who’s job is that if I can’t? In my mind, their father’s job.

For the week I had and the money I put out, I just needed a yes. I had unquestionably done everything I could for them and I needed an unshakable yes. I asked and was bombarded with how tired he would be and he needed sleep and blah, blah, blah….I hung up on the fourth blah.

He called back over and over and I finally listened to his message. I believe he said something, but I only heard one word, “bitch”.

Why that word broke me? I don’t know. I had no expectation he would help me. But for everything I had done for my girls that week with the big birthday party yet to come, I couldn’t believe the disrespect.

But I didn’t react. I called my BFF and said to her, everything I wanted to say to him. I got it out of my system and I sent my prayers to God to handle it.

He answered my prayers. I was able to find peace with the simple word and allow him into my home to celebrate our daughter’s birthday. We laughed. We joked. We gave our daughter a birthday.

You see, I made a choice to hold back my reaction until after our daughter’s birthday. The next day rolled around and he couldn’t figure out why I would not take his calls or return a text. I’ve also made another choice, disrespect me, you can’t call or text me. There are consequences to your words.

I’ve yet to get an apology and don’t believe I ever will. There will be no reward for not reacting. Inevitably we will dance the fake dance again for the sake of our children. And, I, may be the only one, but I will continue to support my choice of intolerance to the word, bitch.