By: Mia L. Hazlett
I began this blog to address my concerns about the relationship concerns I witnessed between parents and children. My most pressing concern was watching the increasing amount of friendships between children and parents. There was no line drawn when it came to the roles of the parent and child. In realizing I can’t change how every stupid parent carries on their stupidity in raising their child, I’ve chosen to focus on how I’m going to raise my daughters into self-respecting responsible women…or at least try my best.
The first lesson I have to offer my daughters is honesty. We live in a day and age of unaccountability. Blame can be placed with anyone except the actual person who does wrong. Know that honesty goes hand in hand with accountability. There are consequences for all actions. My kids call it “being in trouble.” I call it “facing the consequences of your actions.” You see “being in trouble” to me, means, you are standing around the person who is causing trouble. And because you are in their near vicinity, you get yelled at too, regardless if you did anything.
Facing the consequences means you know what you are about to do or did is wrong. Quite honestly nine times out of ten you know what will happen if you are caught. I have to be honest with you; I’ve done an exceptional job of raising some fairly honest kids. Rarely do they have to face punishment. Most of the time its sibling squabbling, but there are very few lies they tell.
My daughter brought home a low test score about a month ago. She was so hard on herself that I had to do my best to comfort her. I’ve discussed before how seriously she takes school. My youngest had grape juice in my bed on my nice white sheets…yup, need I say more. How did I find out, “Mommy, I just spilled my grape juice on your white sheets. You can really see the purple everywhere.” Granted she was honest, but I wasn’t as happy as the lady in the stupid detergent commercial.
Point is, I’ve instilled honesty in my children, which in turn allows them to be accountable for what they do. I didn’t have to hunt through my daughters backpack or get a note from her teacher to find out about her bad test. I didn’t have to get into bed and find purple stained sheets. They both brought the problem to me.
How? I pick my battles. I don’t consider myself strict, but I do discipline. Now when they were younger (toddlers), there were spankings, time-outs, and they missed out on fun stuff as punishment. However, one rule I’ve always had in my house, I catch you lying to me, you are grounded for the rest of your life. You will never play with a friend or go anywhere but to school and home. They don’t have to know I could never spend that much time with them, but hey, whatever works.
Therefore, if there is one quality I want my daughters to carry in their character it is honesty. Now that’s the truth!