By: Mia L. Hazlett
2/28/12
So I’m coming down with a cold and the only thing I wanted to do tonight was come home and go to sleep. I did the mommy thing and my oldest came up to me with a frown around bedtime. From behind her back she pulled out a bracelet she had gotten a friend for her birthday. It was a charm bracelet with a dangling half-heart that read, “Friends.” My daughter had the other half on her bracelet, which read “Best.”
My daughter had this gift in her head ever since she received the invitation about a month ago. We found the bracelet after shopping around and she was so excited. She wrapped up the gift and was joy-bound for the party. So it’s been a week since the party and today the gift returned.
I went upstairs and sat down on the bed with her and she crumbled in my arms as the tears poured out. She gave me the entire fourth grade drama. Between the cry-talk, and the “then I said,” and “but she was like,” and my night-time cough syrup kicking in, I deciphered my daughter took a very important stand today.
Long and short the students had to pair up today for math. Apparently she chose a girl who was not her BFF nor their other friend. She chose the girl with whom she worked best with when it came to math. When the lesson came to an end she walked to her desk and said excuse me to her BFF, who stood in her way. At that point, she crumbled again with tears. I made out that her BFF always goofed off during math and my daughter didn’t want to get a bad grade. She chose the other girl. BFF and her sidekick didn’t like that and chose not to speak to her anymore. At recess BFF returned the bracelet.
I rocked her and let her know how proud of her I was. She chose her education over friendship and didn’t even realize it. Now mind you, the entire time she was relaying her story, I wanted to tell her to slap her little “BFF.” I didn’t.
I still struggle with people no matter how old, who make my kids cry. I tend not to like them much. But there was a lesson in this for me also. I told my daughter to hold onto the bracelet and save it for a real BFF. Instead she wrote her BFF a letter with a question “Are we friends?” with the little “yes” “no” boxes. She then taped the bracelet to the bottom, and wrote, “This bracelet is still yours if you want it.” Wow. I was truly speechless. Not only did she choose her education over friendship today, but she also chose forgiveness. If it was up to me and her sister, I would have told her to take her sister’s advice (her sister walked in and saw her crying in my arms), “Just wrestle her head.” Instead of offering five year-old advice, I said, “I’m so proud of you baby. Pray on it. She would be a fool not to take that bracelet back.” I’m beyond proud of her mature spirit. Although I do become a bit of a five year-old when I see her cry. I would have no problems with her wrestling BFF’s head.
Mia L. Hazlett 